Reflection About Sexual Identity

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When I take a moment to look inward on myself and how my sexual identity is made up I realize how much it has changed over the last five years. At 23 the young gay kid I was at 18 is nonexistent. I’ll start at the beginning. I remember being about 16 years old. I always knew I liked men romantically, I’ve known since the age of five. At 16, I did what every other young black gay boy has done in the city of Philadelphia, if not the entire world. I told the world, “I’m Bisexual”. This was the general answer I gave people for about a hot five seconds. Then I realized I was never the lying type and game out completely to my sisters, then my classmates, then my parents two years later. So now I’m 18 and I still was still sneaking to watch gay films…show more content…
There’s this idea that America has this idea of controlling another groups sex life. That’s the very reason why I never completely came out or even went as far as talking about my sex life with other people. There’s this overwhelming fear of being judged and an ever bigger fear of that judgement either shaping how I express myself sexually. Furthermore, people link homosexuality with acts of bestiality, rape and pedophilia. Warner talked about this as a way to introduce this idea of taboo topics, homosexuality being one that is often talked about. I was literally just in the barbershop the other day and as some know the topics of discussion in African American barbershops are either misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic or sports. Anyways, he went on to ridicule the idea of gay marriage and the fact that gay relationships are becoming more and more common now and days. He then, unsuccessfully, tried to link homosexuality to rape culture and bestiality. He exclaimed, “Yeah, next thing you know niggas gone be out her have sex with mini ponies and marrying inanimate objects.” He followed his comment with a hearty laugh and most of the men in the establishment joined in as well. Instances like these honestly makes me very sad for straight African American men. There’s no emotional outlets for them, there are barely any for people like

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