oneself after decades of doing so.” What brings oneself to the point where they no longer have a reason to live, and how do we get to this place? Does one truly understand the battle with in oneself when battling darkness? Edward Hoagland, in his essay Heaven and Nature, reflects on his own thoughts and experiences of suicide along with his companions. He views not only his questions and thoughts of the suicide, but also the differences of suicidal thinking. But what is it like to be drowning within