The Peculiar-Personal Narrative

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The opening with Jack going to the mountain easily engages the audience. It’s clear and precise. On page one the audience can’t see: Jack has a palpable aura of fame and death about him. Also, there appears to be a missing word: Jack jumps to THE ground. Page two nicely reveals information about Jack: religious candles. But can tighten descriptions: Empties his knapsack and dozens of religious votive candles… Framed photo nicely establishes his relationship with his brother. Terror, Despair, and Desolation – well crafted subtext to describe inner emotions of Jack. On page 3/4, no need for two good-byes. On page 3/4 the goal is well declared, “I’m going to get sober, I’m going to get clean.” Audience is hooked. Nice VO from Ginsberg, “He…show more content…
Jack’s drug use is growing (make sure it escalates and intensifies). On page 49, the wording is awkward: Burroughs gun taps him on the head with his gun. Can seen on page 50/51 with Lit Tutor be combined with rejection from editor. Alene is introduced. Is she needed? Her story mirrors Haverty. What does she add? Around page 53, consider trimming some of the dialogue. On page 55/56, Jack injects the morphine – but show his struggle about doing this. Change Burroughs VO to Gerard, “You’re familiar with the story of the lady who changed into a doe...” Keep focus on his brother. On page 57/58/59/60, consider cutting the dialogue of the woman, “Is it a Mulatto.” How does the street preacher add to the script about Jack’s struggle with drugs? The script isn’t really about racial issues – it’s about drugs. How is Truman Capote relevant to his script? The midpoint should contain a change in direction. This could be his arc with Ginsberg or some major event involving his fight for sobriety – something related to his brother. On page 62/63, instead of using Corso to provide insight that Jack’s trying to find himself – use Gerard for

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