Personal Narrative: My School Experience With Anxiety Disorder

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My school experience from 9th grade until about two weeks into my senior year have drastically changed who I am as a person and what I want from life. My entire life, I've struggled with a severe anxiety disorder that has held me back from things I want to do. I hated getting attention, so I built a facade over my personality to protect myself from perceived judgment. I tried my hardest to appear “normal” and to fit in. This behavior is incredibly bad for one's mental health, especially for someone with a preexisting mental illness such as myself. It was this behavior over time that changed my life and sent me over the edge. My sanity got exponentially worse starting from 9th grade until the end of my sophomore year, where I was at my lowest.…show more content…
I still kept up with my classes, albeit I was put in the lowest difficulty courses, by being on my school systems H&H program, which is where the school sends tutors 2 hours week per class to catch you up on the material. The downside to this is that you do not learn the material as quickly, you have easier classes, and you pretty much have to teach yourself the material that would challenge you all by yourself. I tried going back in the senior year in the beginning, but couldn't continue going. With my therapist, I made a discovery that it was the school itself that was the root of all my anxiety. As a student, school basically is the focal point of one's life. For someone with anxiety, spending seven hours a day, 5 days a week, in a large, crowded school being around 30 or more people at any given time is a nightmare. Panic attacks, depression, and all the other things I had anxiety about could all be traced back to being worried about being in school all the time. In late September, I made the decision with my parents to switch to homeschooling. I am now teaching myself all advanced classes and researching in the areas I need to study in as well as areas that pertain to my interests. Once this started, most of my anxiety faded

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