Hopelessness: A Short Story

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Hopelessness I apologize in advance if my point does not come clear and is swayed with other non-related material. I find it difficult to express my thoughts in regards to this matter. Growing up, I was constantly afraid of the unknown. In other words, things in which I had no prior knowledge to actually terrified me. It is the one thing that scared me more than our friendly neighborhood spiders that walked on 8 legs and silently catching insects and eating their insides. However terrified I was of not being prepared or not having any knowledge of something unfamiliar… There is a single scenario where this fear is most prominent. Laugh all you want, but it is a very real form of fear to me— that is being a relationship. Being…show more content…
I told her I was going for a drink and I politely asked if she would like to join me, and she did. We ended up sharing drinks and talking by the indoor bar by the beach until we decided to continue to rest in my assigned quarters. My, was it one of the most interesting nights I had ever shared with a girl. Nothing kinky happened, we just got to know each other and shared stories. Fast-forward half a year. She said she wanted to concentrate on her studies and I reluctantly agreed. Mind you, we weren’t in any sort of official relationship, but we did have the incessant amount of texts and late night calls at the time that most people have. We put whatever we had on hold for almost 3 months. But in the span of 3 months, I learned something very painful. While I was certain I had some sort of feelings, I wasn’t quite sure if it was mutual. I learned from a mutual friend that prior to the party; she had broken up with her boyfriend of 3 years days before. Apparently he had cheated on her and things quickly turned sour between them. The party was just to cheer her up in spite of recent events, and so coincidentally I was there at the…show more content…
Paranoia perhaps? Emotional paranoia, as what I like to call it. The possibility of being hurt again does not in any way appeal to me at all. So much that I am willing to forsake possible relationships that might end up good. I’m afraid that while I allow my emotions to take over, the other party might not be doing the same. It’s unequal. Many people I’ve talked to express hesitation over getting involved with someone, because that person “likes them too much.” They worry that if they got involved with this person, their own feelings wouldn’t evolve, and the other person would wind up getting hurt or feeling rejected. The truth is that love is often imbalanced, with one person feeling more or less from moment to moment. That is however, and unfortunately, my

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