The 9 people you'll meet on Valentine's Day
Valentines day. Good ol’ Love day. Contrary to popular opinion I’m not one of those people who is passionately opposed to Valentine’s Day. Okay there’s probably a little truth to my genuine ambivalence - isn’t this day a capitalistic, consumerist hell-haven? Is romance not dead? Is modern love sustainable IRL? Can one fall in love with cheese? But this is a stew of questions that we’ll never get out of if I start. So let’s not. V-Day is fun and frivolous and I’m choosing to see it as more than just a day for googly-eyed singles or people bursting into ballads. Look at that 2018. Not to mention that it’s a perfect excuse to get dressed in nonsensical fashion stuff because #loveyourself. But there's…show more content… Wear something cool and artfully unfitting
Bio: Advocates for single-hood and against archaic descriptions of romantic love in 2018. Closely related to The Love-hater
Modus operandi: Uses big words to convince you that being single is great for the environment and ones health. You'll be entranced.
What theyll wear: Dark clothing. Black is their favorite thing to wear on Valentine's Day.
Where you'll go: Nowhere. Because they don't date and are casually going about their day as if Valentine's Day isn't playing in the background.
Seduction instruction: Oops. You played yourself here. Continue pining as usual.
Bio: The cheapska - I mean 'frugalist' is one individual you've probably crossed paths with. They either don't believe in spending a lot of money on date nights or are just too strapped to do so. Beware the distinction.
Signature moves: Takes out wallet seconds after you do. Or Leaves wallet at home.
What they'll wear: They'll dress comfortably and have to return their clothes the next day if they want to impress…show more content… Being 'chill' and 'low-maintenance' are great descriptors you should use to describe yourself. Dress cute on a budget.
The Desert Walker
Bio: Thirsty. Parched. Famished. They haven't had 'it' and other pleasures of courtship in a while.
Signature move: tactfully asks 'your place or mine?' after the starter.
What they'll wear: Something that takes little effort to get in and out of. You'll gawp at their speed.
Where'll you'll go: Somewhere close to their place of residence. Cars, elevators and dark alleys are great too.
How to seduce: Be even remotely interested at the prospect of rolling in hay.
The ‘meh’ dame.
Bio: Not really into Valentine's Day and has nothing better to do. Bored at love but doesn't want to be alone. Not recommended.
Signature moves: Scrolls screen when involved in a conversation. Laughs uncomfortably at all your jokes.
What they'll wear: Anything that attracts whoever they're trying to attract.
Where you'll go: Just out somewhere. Somewhere where other people can publicly see that they are participating
How to seduce: Be available and look nice. Take photos with them when they