I Love Me Narrative

1120 Words5 Pages
I am someone who's mind generally races, not just at night but almost all day. I replay conversations in my head 20+ times a day with each person I encountered even those of little to no significance. I think about how my actions affected them and their day as well as my own. I think about what more I can be doing so my son isn't watching TV and how I can play with him while doing daily tasks and homework. I think about my family and friends and the strengths and weaknesses of our relationships. I frequently wonder if I'm doing enough and if I'm doing it well enough. I almost always feel like I should be trying harder and working harder. As Ellen went through, I also have those boring annoying thoughts on top of it all. We've recently returned from Nepal and…show more content…
I worked to calm my mind and dissipate my thoughts and relax my body. I didn't fully achieve the level of mediation as on my lucky first attempt, but I did feel a sense of relaxation throughout my body and my mind. The second and third time, I didn't have the Buddhist chant on and perhaps tuning into that is what helped me achieve the level of relaxation I did on the very first time. The third time I sat in the afternoon on the living room floor while my son napped on his big dog pillow. He wanted to hold hands before he fell asleep, so I obliged while I mediated. He fell asleep pretty quickly and I couldn't help but think about the night he was born and when he lay on my bare chest so our hearts could beat in sync. I wondered if mediating with him could ever reach that same level of connection again. I then started to think about how I could be a better person and what my deep rooted problems might be. I quickly pushed that out of my head and moved onto trying to clear it again. Now, afterwards, I feel less stressed about homework, and life in general. I feel focused to complete all the tasks in front of me as I had intended for
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