Satire Essay On Mexican War

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Working men, afraid wives, and frightened children please listen to the words I deliver to you today and spread them to your neighbors, friends, family, teachers, and bosses. We are living in the forgotten, under appreciated, under funded region of this great nation. We are being troubled by harassing anarchist from our intracontinental foe Mexico. Currently we are in the mist of of war against them where the battles are spilling into our cities, our homes, our lives and this is absurd for our lives to be blanketed by the gun shots and horrors of war. Our children are being traumatized; our homes are being destroyed; our food is being mutilated and devoured by our enemy. Please do not leave this rally with the wrong impression for this is…show more content…
We must begin torturing these vile humans for the injustices they have inflicted on us. Although we must torture them, we must not kill them. Instead, we need to use that terrorist as an example to the Mexican people of how not to try and harass the smartest, strongest, most superior people on this side of the Atlantic! We must hunt down Antonio López, Mariano Arista, Nicolás Bravo, and Joaquín Rea, capture them, bring them to the capital, and unleash device that are so delightfully frightening they will wish they never dared fighting against us! This does not mean that only these cruel leaders need to be disciplined; there are also people in our community that pose a threat to our safety and they must also be disciplined but not to the point of death, only enough to where they will tell their Mexican buddies about how we are not to be intimidated. Some people will try to argue that torture is not morally right and that it is unconstitutional as seen by the Eight Amendment. When approached by how it is not constitutional to torture our enemy ask this doubter if it was constitutional when Thomas Jefferson made the Louisiana

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