Practical Book Review of Petersen Text
Khadean Young
Liberty University
Summary “Why Don‟t We Listen Better?‟ by James Petersen is about improving our communication by becoming better listeners. To communicate is to commune through sharing and connecting with others. In order to improve our relationships and be effective communicator we must be understanding of ourselves, how we think and how we feel (Petersen, 2007). According to Petersen (2007) there are two levels of communication. Level I involves a disconnected style that involves the facts and discusses each other’s point of view (Petersen, 2007). Whereas Level II, a connected style where trust and sharing develops (Petersen, 2007). Petersen (2007) divided our talk functions into…show more content… The head is our logical part of us, our debatable side where we put our thoughts and perceptions into words. Petersen (2007) describes the Flat-Brain Syndrome as a process that occurs when the stomach, heart and head functions short circuit: the stomach overloads, the head turns brick-like, the brain goes flat, the hearing is skewed, the seeing is distorted, and the mouth works overtime. When this occurs we are unable to listen, think, act, or even relate to others effectively, causing detrimental communication breakdown. To counter this process, Petersen (2007) suggests the emotional disturbance be reduced in the talker first, in order to induce clearer thinking and better decision making. Then move on to building self-confidence and friendship through mindful listening. The Flat-Brain Tango (Petersen, 2007) is a vicious cycle that occurs when both persons continue to defend and attack each other, which render identical results. Since this is based on the need to win and maintain power, relenting as such is necessary to avoid the dance and improve communication, however doing so requires a significant amount of self-examination (Petersen, 2007). To facilitate this, Petersen (2007) developed…show more content… Most times, I am at fault or to blame in some way even though I may or may not have had control on the decisions being made. We are not at all good communicators. My husband tends to be my most harsh critic, and tends to take everything I say in opposition to him as an attack and that he must defend himself. However, I am expected to not do the same. I cannot say that he feels regretful, confused, or disappointed once all is said and done, but I surely do, and then I am left with figuring out how to restore the peace and tranquility that existed prior. After reading this book I realized how much I lack in communicating with my husband during these heated moments. I often block out my part in the dispute, I focus on his shortcomings but never vocalize them because that just makes the situation worse. He has a temper and from my standpoint makes veiled attempts at controlling it, which leads me to believe that no matter what I do, I do not always have control over the