Manipulated Forgiveness VS. True Forgiveness
With domestic violence on the rise, it is an important time to face this issue, and the difficult decisions the victim has to make in order to recover. When in an abusive relationship, it can be helpful to forgive the abuser.
Manipulated forgiveness is the tactic abusers use to keep control of the relationship. Once the physical or mental abuse has taken place, the immediate aftermath is the abuser asking for forgiveness, however, this plea places a responsibility upon the victim and takes the blame away from the abuser, leaving the victim to feel guilty for the events that have just taken place. Abusive partners often rationalize their behavior, and an expression of forgiveness might fuel these rationalizations, it may also reinforce the uneven power distributions of the abusive…show more content… True forgiveness is a genuine self-forgiveness that helps to mend the deep wounds of the victim. This type of forgiveness involves a profound understanding and acknowledgment that the victim is not in the wrong, and the suffering was not self-inflicted.
Forgiveness brings peace to the tormented soul, however, it can it erode the offense of the wrongdoer if their abuse is continuous? Although psychologists and clergy members often promote forgiveness, some wrongdoings can be much more difficult, testing, and demanding to forgive. It can be helpful for victims to forgive as they can let go of the attachment and bond to the offender. By forgiving, the link to abuse is broken.
There are two types of determinants of forgiveness: cognitive and emotional. Cognitive forgiveness is when the victim realizes and understands what abusive events have occurred and that the abuser is in fact abusive. Emotional forgiveness is when the victim is able to cope, self-heal, and ultimately move past the