Your “attraction” to emotional pain might reflect a subconscious effort to psychologically “compensate” for events, desires, or feelings that are otherwise too difficult to acknowledge or accept in your consciousness. This process is expressed through a psychoanalytic or psychodynamic approach. It entails using defense mechanisms known as “undoing,” which describes people acting in a way that is the opposite of how they feel on a deep, subconscious level. As an example, part of you may feel guilty about wanting to live happily, but you actually “undo” this desire for happiness by accessing a painful and emotional state of mind instead. In other words, you might be unconsciously punishing yourself in order to prevent ‘unacceptable’ feelings of happiness from surfacing. Those therapists that observe the cognitive behavioral or cognitive frameworks may explain your mindset and actions from a different standpoint. This view asserts that the causes of emotional and behavioral disorders generally stem out of beliefs about the world, your future, and ourselves. I personally don’t adhere to this school of thought, but you should speak to both a psychoanalytic and cognitive therapists to ascertain which thought process works best for you.…show more content… They might help you comprehend the fears that underscore your self-sabotaging behavior. If such essential beliefs cause you to shy away from joy and happiness, as an example, the cognitive therapist would help you express those fears, explore their origins, and then restructure the fear-related thoughts and beliefs that keep you emotionally