Remember What Ms. Lonely Hearts Told Mr. Stringer-Offer: Case Study
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Set the Default Mode.
Remember what Ms. Lonely Hearts told Mr. Stringer-Alonger:
"If you're not prepared to make a commitment within the next year, I need to look elsewhere for a life companion. I don't want time and opportunity to pass me by."
Notice that Hearts has not only stated her position, she has also stated her "default mode"- her "what-if". What if Stringer isn't prepared to meet Hearts' needs in a year? She'll move on.
What about the argument that Hearts should just wait for Stringer to make a commitment on his own. If after a year, Stringer hasn't made a commitment, Hearts should just walk away.
This approach is really unfair to both Hearts and Stringer. It is unfair to Stringer because he is being deprived of the opportunity of making his own decision about whether or not to…show more content… She could be missing the chance to get what she wants. Unless Hearts communicates her position to Stringer, Stringer may really not be aware of her position. He could be thinking that Hearts is happy with the status quo. However, when Hearts tells Stringer her position, Stringer can no longer misunderstand it. So always include your default mode, your what-if: What if there is no response.
Sell Your Positions.
Don't be afraid to sell your position. Remember that in selling your position:
1. Include your feelings and the reasons for your position. Explanations help sell positions. The other person is going to be much more accepting of your position if she understands the logic behind it, the effort you went to, the obstacles you overcame, the benefits to others, etc.
2. Sell your position from the other person's standpoint. Your boss is going to be much more sympathetic to your absence from work if you discuss something that Boss is interested in--your return to work. So tell Boss:
a. The steps you've taken to return to work as quickly as possible. You've seen the doctor, taken your medicine,