Regretful Memories As I drive away from Sourdi and the dancing snowflakes with apprehension and Duke beside me, I come to a realization. Sourdi no longer understands me. I should have expected it with the distance and silences. As I close my eyes; I recall us walking over the minefield and it all seems like it occurred in a distant life. Perhaps I was holding on too tight to something footloose. If Sourdi won’t pick me, why should I keep chasing after her? Whenever she calls anymore it’s only for Ma. I am tired of not being Sourdi’s Nea anymore. I am merely Nea now. I close my eyes as these thoughts scurry around my mind in a frantic, hazy chase. Besides my loud mind, the car remains silent except for Duke and me breathing. I am not sure how much time passes before I finally open my eyes to the scene behind the car window. I watch the sun peek through openings it finds between the leaves. I remember when Sourdi used to be my sun. Now she reminds me more of fog; ghostly and imperceptible, yet lingering. I want the…show more content… Now I stand in my black dress and cardigan. I stare at the rows of graves with my sisters and Ma beside me. I stare up at the beautiful setting sun. The sky was like a clear canvas with the rays of light twisting through it like careful brush streaks. The air was peaceful yet so sad. I closed my eyes as a breeze passed. My hair strands scatter behind my back in little twirls. My hands betray my calm demeanor as they clench at the two single white roses in my grasp. Beautiful, pure, and sweet like Sourdi and her baby were. A tiny hand clutches at my tensed fingers and I open my eyes to little Veasna. She’s so beautiful in her own special way, similar to Sourdi’s. A small smile grazes my lips as I watch her smile unsurely at me. I nod and give her the roses in my hands and she lays them on their graves. I place my hand on her little shoulder as she stares at her mother and sibling’s graves. Silence stays by