Doug Murren Summary

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Doug Murren has collected “stuff” during his life. He uses this to show how the “stuff” brings memories of good relationships, his grandfather’s mason trowel, and his grandmother’s quilt. The trowel brings memories of a hard working mason, laying the brick straight and plumb. As he laid the bricks, he told funny stories. “Each and every word he spoke to me extended the richest love.” (p. 69) The quilt is made with the most careful detail in stitching. It was her way of giving her love to her family and a piece of remembrance. The author says they are the symbols of a rich relationship. One of the few things we can take into the next life is relationships. There are plenty of programs, high-tech gear, and other beneficial things, but a church…show more content…
The author uses “Stan” and “Ted” as leaders with whom he has worked. Each has their own style because of their background. Stan could not handle conflict, but with Murren’s help, he became a good leader with a healthy group. Ted had well developed relationship skills. He is a personal manager. He created an atmosphere of mutual respect with give and take sessions. If there are problems, he takes responsibility and finds a solution. The groups and their leaders will not be perfect. We are all growing in grace and knowledge of the Lord unto maturity. “We are not looking for perfection; we’re looking for growth.” (p. 79) The training of small group leaders is a way to expand the effectiveness of the church without adding an additional load on the main pastor. The author says that it is a problem in the churches to have the pastor with a minority of the congregation doing most of the ministry. Broadening the base of trained people to serve is the norm in a healing church. One of the best ways to train is mentoring. The author believe in a system of mentoring which is partnering no more than five lay leaders with one pastor or well-trained layperson (p. 80). “Besides some things are better “caught” than “taught.” (p. 80) Mentoring creates a bonding relationship, which allows the freedom to express ideas and ask…show more content…
(1) A divisive spirit – this is us versus them attitude. The leadership must support the church’s vision and mission and be able to communicate it to the group. The fabric of the church is left in shreds with this spirit. (2) Silly disagreements – “The fact is the question of traditional versus contemporary worship is the number one source of conflict in churches today.” (p. 83) Worship is our offering to God. Does it really matter what type of instruments, tempo, and rhythm are used in praise? Where is the Fruit of the Spirit in all this? However, the author says that this conflict has opened the door to the establishment of more churches, which will increase the size of our nets in reaching the lost (p. 83). (3) Debt – Whether in the church or the family, debt is the elephant in the room. Relationships have been torn apart by accusations, innuendos, and playing the blame game. Whose fault is it that the attendance has dropped and with it the finances? “When payments are due and the money’s not there, love vanishes, and pragmatism takes over.” (p. 84) The author believes that a church should never finance growth by debt. It has the potential to destroy love and unity. (4) Dishonesty – the author gives a personal example of not being accurate with numbers and facts when he is preaching. A couple in the congregation pointed it out. It is an inadvertent dishonesty but needs addressing. Dishonesty

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