Essay On Internalized Racism

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I grew up with external and internalized racism, but at a certain point I learned to love myself and I am stronger for it now. The first time, I felt the drops of the water touch my skin. I didn’t worry about the scent coming from the body of water that surrounded me in the tub. At school the other black kids called me names matching "Blackie" "Darkie" "Black ass nigga.” My grandma and my mom also told me that the sun would make me blacker."Just because you can't get suntanned doesn't mean you can't get blacker from the sun." So I felt guilty about playing outside. I remember my grandmother telling me how the bath will help extract all the of filth off my body and generate me “clean again.” I didn't bother questioning it. I believed my skin was…show more content…
Obviously, my skin was a problem--and I could not solve it. I still was black in spite of trying to stay out of the sun and bathing in bleach. IT WAS ALL MY FAULT! In middle school, I tried even harder, I stopped doing anything considered ”black” and tried to rip off the skin that everyone saw. [I tried to talk differently and pronounce the letters in words like “ask”. I began looking at those that were the same skin color as inferior to me. I started to talk condescendingly about those from the same neighborhood as mine.Give some concrete examples here about what type of stuff you stopped doing and what other type of stuff you started doing.] I wanted to be someone else. But I couldn’t be someone else. Through true colors theatre troupe, I learned to find acceptance for myself. Through theatre I was able to channel and release all my emotions into my characters. I was able to tell my story which allowed me to open the gate and set myself free.All the self hatred and internalized feelings I had for myself started to leave me. Love began to take place of the bleach scars and racism

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